Unit C.2.1 Communication styles, positive communication, & the role of communication in building solid relationships
Communication styles,positive communication,
Learn about different communication styles,
positive communication, and the role of communication in building
solid relationships.
Learn about different communication styles,
positive communication, and the role of communication in building
solid relationships.
Learn about different communication styles,
positive communication, and the role of communication in building
solid relationships.
To understand what communication is, in this unit you will learn about different communication styles, positive communication, and the role of communication in building solid relationships.
Have you ever thought of the many different ways in which people greet each other? Hello, Ciao, Bonjour, Hola, Salam, Nín hao, Hujambo, Howdy. The list goes, of course, goes on and on.
No matter where you are in the world and what your purpose is, you will always need to communicate with other people. We are inclined to think of communication in terms of “right” or “wrong”, meaning that we have predefined expectations about what is and what is not appropriate when communicating with others. According to Australia’s Better Health Channel, communication is “the transfer of information from one place to another” and within relationships, it “allows you to explain to someone else what you are experiencing and what your needs are” (Victoria Department of Health & Human Services, n.d.).
Communicating is not just a detail but an essential part of our life! It can be useful to think about communication as a complex phenomenon going beyond the act of speaking. Alice Stott’s framework (2018) sees communication as made of the following components:
– Physical: How a speaker uses their body language, facial expressions, and voice.
– Linguistic: The speaker’s use of language, including their understanding of formality and rhetorical devices.
– Cognitive: The content of what a speaker says and their ability to build on, challenge, question, and summarize others’ ideas.
– Social and emotional: How well a speaker listens, includes others, and responds to their audience (Stott, 2018).
We can conclude that communication is a process influenced by many different aspects of a person’s life and character. Being aware of this process, and of the differences in communication mechanisms between people, is key for ensuring effective communication with other people.
In other words, there can be no communication without other people – it is a reciprocal process. Active listening is important for communication because it makes people feel that we are providing a safe and accepting environment for them to open up and express themselves freely.
What active listening IS and IS NOT?
Active listening IS:
Silent presence – we listen and make eye contact, giving them the feeling that we are there and listening
Summarizing – we only summarize what we think the person has said to make sure that we understood them or ask questions only if we didn’t understand something
Focusing on the essential – not asking different questions to satisfy our curiosity but only to clarify feelings, needs, values, etc.
Being aware of what is going on with a person – e.g. trying to feel what they are feeling (in other words, empathizing)
Active listening IS NOT:
Giving advice – “You should take this job, it is a good job.”
Interrupting the person by telling your own story – “Yes, this is just what happened to me and I…”
Questioning – asking questions that don’t have anything to do with a person’s feelings and needs, e.g. “And what did he say then? What happened next? Are you sure, is this really what happened?”
Pitying someone – e.g. “Oh, poor you…”
Read different definitions of communication and pick the one that you would use to define communication:
A) Communication is a process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs, or behaviour [2].
B) Communication is a one-way process whereby an individual states their thoughts and ideas independently of other people’s reactions [3].
C) Communication is a system, such as mail, telephone, or television, for sending and receiving messages.
D) The transfer of information from one molecule, cell, or organism to another, as by chemical or electrical signals or by behaviours.
On your personal notebook 
, paste the definition you have chosen and explain in 2-3 sentences why have you picked this particular definition.
We might be inclined to think that communication is primarily about speaking and presenting our points of view, but in reality it has largely to do with listening respectfully and fully to the person we are speaking with. A lack of active listening from our part can lead to miscommunication, in other words, a failure to positively and effectively communicate with one another.
Watch this video:
[embedyt] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCfzeONu3Mo[/embedyt]
After this video, would you still select the same definition of communication? Write your answer in your personal notes.
We have seen that effective communication happens when the exchange with the other person is positive (this could mean, for instance, that we manage to send our message across, or that the other person reacts positively to our message). The concept of non-violent communication (NVC) developed by Marshal Rosenberg [4] can help us better understand what positive and effective communication is about.
It introduces the notion that we all have feelings and needs behind our communication with others. The “outcome” of the communication (whether we will get in conflict with the other person or not) depends on whether our needs are met or not.
Watch this video to get an idea of NVC:
[embedyt] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dpk5Z7GIFs[/embedyt]
Communication styles
One thing we need to remember is that the way each one of us communicates is unique, as we all have styles of communication based on different factors; our culture, language, society, age, gender, religion are some of the elements which affect our communication styles.
It can be useful to learn about different styles because we might need to adapt our personal style depending on the specific situation we find ourselves in and who we end up speaking to.
Gudykunst and Ting-Toomey identified several communication styles:
Direct style
-Language is precise and straightforward.
-Words like “absolutely” or “certainly” or “no” are often used to convey positive or negative intentions.
Indirect style
-Language is imprecise and less straightforward.
-Words like “maybe” or “perhaps” are used and more attention is placed on not hurting other people we speak to.
Elaborate style
-A rich, expressive language, which uses a large number of adjectives describing a noun, exaggerations, idiomatic expressions, proverbs and metaphors.
-Mainly used in cultures of the Middle East such as Iran, Egypt, Lebanon and Saudi-Arabia
Exacting style
-The speaker just uses those words which describe exactly the their intention. No additional words or paraphrases are required.
-This style is more typical of cultures from mainly North America and Northern Europe.
Personal style
-Both speaker and listener have the same rights and both use the same language patterns. This style is informal and differences of age, status or gender do not lead to different language styles.
Contextual style
-Based on a hierarchical social order and formality is essential.
Instrumental style
-Speaker and listener are clearly differentiated. When you speak with this style, your priority is to change the other person’s opinion and to convey your message. The speaker becomes an “agent of change”.
Affective style
-The roles of speaker and listener are integrated and interdependent. The speaker is not only expected to transmit his or her message, but at the same time to be ”considerate about others’ feelings”. When you use this style, you pay attention to the feelings and opinions of the other person.
The communication style exercise
1. Read the brief communication examples:.
Style 1. Speaker A to listener B: Close the door, it’s cold!
Style 2. Speaker A to listener B: It’s rather cold, would you mind if I closed the door?
Style 3. Speaker A (18 years old) to listener B (60 years old): Pass me the butter please.
Style 4. Speaker A: I think red is a very ugly colour. / Speaker B replies: I quite like it, it reminds me of my mother who passed away. / Speaker A in reply: Aw, I see, sorry if my statement hurt your feelings.
2. What type of communicating person are you? Try to write in 3 or 4 sentences which of the above-described styles corresponds to yours, and why. Do you recount instances when you felt you had to adapt your communication style because the specific situation required it?
– Which elements was I focusing on while describing the object?
– What are the similarities and differences in our ways of describing things?
– What knowledge from Theme 1 did we apply in order to describe our objects?
–Write your answers on your personal notes .
Although it is useful to learn about different communication styles, it is also very important to remember that we cannot possibly always use the same style. Because communication is context-specific, in order for it to be effective and positive, we need to learn to adapt our communication style depending on our interlocutor, and on the specific setting. For instance, it might be regarded rude to use a very direct style when talking to an older student you are tutoring.
We can conclude that communication is most effective when it is clear, respectful of other people’s styles, non-judgemental, and adaptable to different interlocutors and contexts.
– Do you communicate in the same way if your interlocutor is a man or a woman? If he/she has a high/low position in society? If he/she is younger or older?
– Do you always take time to analyse the language of the person you are speaking with (verbal and non-verbal) in order to act in the best way to make him/her feel at ease?
– If you do not understand a behaviour do you take time to ask your interlocutor to explain it to you?
– When conducting your workshop in your community, what communication style would you adopt? And why?
